VARANE THE MAN

Internet connoisseurs have long since dismissed Ole Gunnar Solskjær as a Norwegian PE teacher who knows less about the game than the average journalist – Manchester United should actually have named it [redacted] as a manager with [redacted] as a trainer and [redacted] as its football director. But for some inexplicable reason, they have remained loyal to the man who gave Molde his first league title in 100 years of history and then transformed United from a hilarious shower into a club that is attractive again to some of the world’s best players. It is an absolute mystery!

Somehow, however, Solskjær persuaded Raphaël Varane to swap the Bernabéu for Old Trafford – The Fiver can only guess that they have a common interest in high-pitched whistles, climbing ropes and bankball. However, Varane and his four Big Cups, three La Ligas and one World Cup do not impress Jamie O’Hara and his one Celebrity Big Brother, which will undoubtedly be very troubling for both he and Solskjær. O’Hara is concerned that Varane is slow – sometimes the lines write themselves – and also struggles to understand why he should leave Real Madrid, which just appointed the manager they fired in 2015 for not doing well who was fired from Napoli after a little over a year and who last moved Everton from 15th to 10th place for about £ 67,383,000.

Of course, in order to be better than Victor Lindelöf, Varane may need Sergio Ramos by his side to use violence. But it can also be that a player with speed, skill, vision and intelligence is quite good at football – even if a few training sessions at the side of Fred, Daniel James and Eric Bailly wish he could still rely on him Ramos’ unique qualities.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“It’s a shame we didn’t make it to the Olympic Village. Participating in this tournament was something very special. We would have liked to have gone as far as possible, but now we can’t change anything ”- the German Anton Stach complains about the lack of progress on his team, um, the athletes’ village after a 1-1 draw against Ivory Coast has shaken them from the big sports day .

Tokyo’s Olympic Village: the men’s soccer grand prize. Photo: Hollandse Hoogte / Shutterstock

FIVE LETTERS

“I believed Wayne Rooney had what it takes to shape his club as a coach, but I didn’t expect him to literally knock the ankle of any of his own players. I guess he went things wrong trying to address the club’s problems. ”- Peter Oh.

“Au contraire, Peter Clarke (letters from yesterday): Maybe it is the silver medal scuba diving skills of Raheem Sterling and Jack Grealish that inspired Tom Daley and Matty Lee to greater heights” – Justin Kavanagh.

“But if POJT chooses his interview clothes (yesterday’s Fiver), will he wear shin guards as well?” – Robin Hazlehurst.

“I beg you to keep us updated on the fortunes of Al-Duhail in the Qatari League this season in the hope that after that time you will repeat your greatest moment of pun for those unlucky enough to miss it first time you joked ‘Alderweireld’s a stage’ … deserves a second outing! I know I shouldn’t be praising “- Andy Morrison (and no one else).

Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can tweet The Fiver anytime via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our Priceless Letter of the Day is… Justin Kavanagh.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

The number of headers training in English adult football will be severely restricted this season, with a limit of 10 high-force headers per week for professionals.

Real Madrid’s new signing David Alaba tested positive for Covid.

Wembley will host the England Women’s World Cup qualifier against Northern Ireland on October 23, the first competitive game at the Lionesses’ National Stadium since it reopened in 2007.

Arsenal Women have continued to reorganize the squad, capturing Norwegian midfielder Frida Maanum from Linköping. Manchester United have now signed Scottish striker Martha Thomas.

Leicester City has announced plans to add 8,000 more seats to the King Power Stadium and increase the capacity to 40,000.

And Lee Carsley has big footsteps to fill in after he was announced as Aidy Boothroyd’s successor in the UK U21 job – and he will have Ashley Cole as his assistant.

DO YOU WANT MORE?

Ellie Roebuck is talking to Suzy Wrack about the number 1 of Team GB.

John Duerden is chewing on the fat with Scott Cooper, the Englishman who is fueling a football revolution in the Philippines.

Knowledge of footballers who participated in the summer version of Big Sports Day in other sports.

Lauren Price: over 50 caps for Wales and The Fivers tip for gold in boxing at Tokyo 2020. Composite: Getty Images for British Olympic Association; The FA via Getty Images

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